A Very Very Merry Un Birthday To You!

Its Pat's 40th this coming February. He doesn't want a big party. Hes never been one for fuss on a birthday. He's not the type to care that this is considered a "milestone" year. He doesn't want any presents. He's not into big social gatherings. And thats just who he is. Unfortunately for him, thats just not who I am. Haha. Just kidding dear. Maybe. Just kidding. Theres no party. Just kidding there is. Just kidding there isn't. Just kidding I rented out a huge hall for you. Just kidding its a small dinner at home. Just kidding we're taking everyone to the Whiteshell with us. Just kidding I didn't invite a soul. Just kidding everyone at your work knows. Just kidding only 30 of them do. Just kidding none of them cared. Just kidding they all cared and they all want to party. Just kidding I didn't talk to anyone. Just kidding even my uncle from England is coming. Just kidding he hates you. Just kidding he adores you and can't wait to meet you on your birthday. Just kidding we're going there. Just kidding I don't have enough airmiles. Just kidding I do. Just kidding I don't. Just kidding theres no party at all. Just kidding there is but its just you, me, and mck. Just kidding the second she heard the word party she's been non-stop telling people. Just kidding I never told her. Just kidding I did and shes saving her pennies and picking out a dress. Just kidding shes not saving anything. Just kidding she wants to cook you dinner herself. Just kidding she loves eating out as much as I do. Just kidding I hired a chef to cook for us. Just kidding I hired a whole company to cater the party. Just kidding its a potluck. Just kidding I'd never do that to you. Just kidding I would but not for your birthday. Just kidding theres no food at the party. Just kidding there is but its all in the form of jello shooters. Just kidding thats what all your work buddies wanted. Just kidding they could care less if there was jello. Just kidding they'd love jello if it involved wrestling. Just kidding I didn't tell your work buddies. Just kidding I did. Just kidding I only told family. Just kidding I told everyone I know. Just kidding I would never do that to you. Just kidding I would. Just kidding I didn't so don't panic. Just kidding you may as well start panicking. Just kidding I will honor your wishes of no party, no gifts. Just kidding I won't. Just kidding its not a party its an EVENT. Just kidding its not.

Worried yet dear??