Almost, But Not Quite

I visited my friend Jaclyn last night. Or rather, I sat in silence for about an hour and a half on her couch last night. No, we were not watching the Olympics, though they were on. No. We sat there, staring, at the newest bundle of joy in our worlds.


Ocassionally, I would feel bad and every once in awhile would try to break the spell and start a conversation with her but always found myself drifting off, staring into the pools of dark, dark blue that are his eyes, so blue they're almost navy. I stared at this creation, this beautiful boy that was just two weeks ago in the belly of my friend sitting on the other couch and I marvelled at that.


I could not remember. I could not remember McK ever being so tiny, so light, so delicate. I could not remember what that felt like. And part of me was sad, that little mothering part who loves newborns and wee babes and tiny sleepers and fuzzy heads and that soft, soft, EVER so soft spot right at the nape of their neck. I miss that. Not enough to have another one, mind you. Almost, but not quite. :)