Curious Men

In watching TV tonight I found myself faced with some curious men. Some were curious in a good way, some in a sketch way and some in a maybe-i-like-ya-i'm-not-sure-yet way.

Piers Morgan, Celebrity Apprentice and Americas Got Talent Host - recognizes raw talent and is not afraid to say no to the ones with zero talent. Doesn't make excuses for them or for his decisions. I think I like him, mostly because we're usually on the same page with the talent category of the "hopefuls". But where did he come from?

David Hasselhoff, Baywatch, Americas Got Talent Host - Um. I think he falls into the "I don't know" category. Its like he thinks he's still as cool as he was on Baywatch only he was never actually cool on Baywatch.


Gordon Ramsay, host Hells Kitchen - I love this man. He tells it like it is. If you're a fuck-up, well, he'll remind you of that. And like the kids on the show acknowledge, he is trying to bring out the best in them. There's just something about his potty mouth.

Jean Philippe, maitre'd Hells Kitchen - I have long admired JP for putting up with Gordon Ramsay and keeping the irritated customers of Hells Kitchen calm. He is the epitomy of dapper and old fashioned. And tonight he rocked it old school with a punk from Texas. Best line ever? After both he and the Texan got a talking to from Gordon and were told to behave, he snuck in a "Ladies first" when the punk left the room before him. Classic.

Joe Jackson, Michael Jacksons father - I had never ever had an opinion of this man prior to him whoring himself out to whatever tv station or show would have him. Now he's everywhere and he makes my skin crawl. Not for what he may or may not have done to his kids (cuz lord knows there's people out there doing worse) but for what he's trying to do now. Your kids didn't like you, man. You got all you could out of them that they couldn't stop you from getting legally. Now you and your stupid hat are parading around tv searching for a pity party and some appearance fees. Sick.

I would love to see the following: Piers and JP generate a brilliant plan (because they are clever and witty and can make bad shit good) and get David and Gordon all fired up (because David is still somewhat in shape and Gordon cuz, well, he's Gordon) and they go apeshit crazy on Joe's ass. That? THAT I would watch. Possibly even pay to see. Maybe even twice.